不应期 帽子的故事(620)冤家杨诗屏(2/3)

讲道理,你追别人就不能追了么?然而刘箴对杨诗屏嫌弃的很,说不出这种话。这女人不检点就算了,还害自己被人当成变态,自己女朋友现在还没完全哄好呢,一冲动,大实话往外搂:“你t眼瞎,(以为)别人稀罕么?”“你要找架打是不是?”二人直接顶上了牛,眼看一触即发。杨诗屏超怕在学校里搞这种事情,毕竟她affairs比较多,赶忙钻进两人中间,推着那男生道:“你干什么啊?你误会了,他是我一个朋友的朋友,不是追我……他也不是我的菜……”胖儿东也赶快拉住刘箴:“冷静啊,三弟,莫要节外生枝!”双方在激烈的眼神对抗中距离逐渐拉远,一直到看不见对方,刘箴才反应过来:“那娘们刚才说啥?”胖儿东:“没啥,她说你不是她的菜,她看不上你。”刘箴:“哦……”刘箴反射弧慢三拍:“神妈??臭婊子,老子要宰了她!!”·刘箴这边气的拖着胖儿东查杨诗屏那个破鞋(彭昶)和学妹(贲维维)的信息,准备要爆破,结果杨诗屏先怂了,发微信问:“要不要谈一谈。”见面杨诗屏解释道:“真的不是我要绿学妹,我的事情你们不要搅合好不好?”甚至很难相信自己的耳朵,胖儿东:“卧槽,你都跟人男朋友上床了,我们都听到了,你还不是……”最新地址:“我和他本来就是炮友!”杨诗屏真的很急:“他是我学长,有次吃饭的时候正好碰见学妹,学妹听说不是我男朋友非要让我介绍给她,那我又不能说不行!”胖儿东:“啊?然后他们就在一起了?”刘箴不耐烦,打断道:“这关我什么事,你害我被人当成变态,还害我被那个傻逼以为在追你,呸,好t晦气。你给我道歉!”“我才晦气呢,认识你这种人。没事找事!”“我哪种人?”“你们俩跑来偷听我和别人,偷听完了还像个傻逼一样在那叫……完了还跑过来跟踪我威胁我,你说你们哪种人?”“偷听你个鬼,我上哪知道你俩在里面搞那个ji巴!”胖儿东感觉她俩再吵下去,就快结婚了,赶忙制止:“得得得,我知道你俩很想吵,但你们先别吵。我们有正事。”杨诗屏抱胸翘腿翻白眼,刘箴比个中指,听胖儿东道出重点:“我们想和你打听个事。”杨诗屏:“我凭什么告诉你们?”刘箴:“你不告诉我就去告诉你学妹。”杨诗屏:“……说事儿。”胖儿东正色道:“我们听说,你之前加入过丁恩和丁诺组织的一个小圈子?”杨诗屏瞬间脸色大变,算是知道了二人来意果决道:“别的事儿可以,这个我不知道。”“啊?我们有那么好骗?”“问就是不知道,反正不知道!”“你告诉我们,又不会有别人知道。”“我不能说,你问别的吧。”杨诗屏坚决的吓人。“别的我们用得着问你!?”刘箴道:“那你不说,就别怪我们把你和那个姓贲的事情告诉你学妹了。”杨诗屏一脸恨恨的表情,咬着牙,显然实是不想让学妹知道,想不到她还挺在意这个学妹的。半天,面色冷冷,又有点委屈的问:“就不能有第三个选项么?”“第三个选项就是陪我们俩睡一个学期。”刘箴几乎想都没想,脱口而出。结果杨诗屏也是一秒都没犹豫:“可以。”说

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…”胖刘:……网管妹子,突然从背后掏出个牌子:“是这样的,观看y秽色情要罚款五千元,这里都写了的……”胖儿东要发飙:“妈的之前没见你们摆出来?”网管妹子道:“平时就放在吧台里面那儿,是你没看到。”刘箴也要疯:“我们又不是用你们电脑放的!”网管妹子细声细气:“不是用我们电脑也不行,你们要是不愿意交罚款也可以的(血压下去点)……那我们就直接报警警察处理了(血管爆了)……报警的话你们可以先走,反正上网都是实名……”胖儿东垂死挣扎:“你们有什么证据说我们……!”网管妹子慢声慢语:“你们门外面上面这个摄像头就能录音的……”心态崩了呀!妹子还好心提醒(火上浇油):“交罚款只能现金哟。”刘箴:“凭啥呀?老子又没有现金。”妹子:“不留证据也是为你们好呀,那你没带,就让朋友送一下吧。”胖儿东感动的快哭了,他们明明可以直接抢,却非要说是罚款。要整个老爷们明晃晃的讹诈,说不定还可以打一架;整这么个小小的妹子,彻底把俩人给打败了。没办法,为了不进局子,只好打电话喊闾梓珊取钱帮忙送来。期间胖儿东发挥20载打磨的厚脸皮,硬生生把5000讲成了4000。最新地址:·胖儿东倒还好,给刘箴憋屈坏了,短短一个月里,第二次被人当成变态给逮住,需要女朋友来捞人。走着走着,闾梓珊就哭了:“你是不是不喜欢我?”刘箴赶忙安慰:“没有!怎么可能。”“还是你有什么特殊的喜好,怕伤害我,不想和我说?”没错,除了担心男友不喜欢自己,闾梓珊一度怀疑刘箴是不是真的变态。刘箴想死之余,费尽吃奶的劲解释。胖儿东也帮忙解释,然而他解释属于添乱,因为一旦排除了前面两个选项,那这口锅必须扣到帽子和他两个不正经室友的头上:“肯定是你俩把刘箴带坏了!你一个人变态就得了,为什么要拉着刘箴一起!?”胖儿东吐了,是我变态变的太有影响力了!帽子心态良好,囖囖囖的傻笑看戏。·举报他俩的不用想,必须是杨诗屏。实在是太气了,不说报仇吧,也得讨个说法。第二天没逮住杨诗屏,隔了一天跟着她到了食堂,正给撕逼做心理建设,突听她对一人喊道:“维维!”一个女生端着空餐盘回头,见是杨诗屏,激动的不行,冲上来给杨诗屏抱了个满怀:“啊!学姐,我已经三天没见你了,想死我了!”女生在学校拉手抱抱甚至亲亲都是常事,男生要是这么搞,妥妥的变态。胖刘看的翻白眼,看有外人不方便,先坐到了角落,盯着俩人一起吃饭。胖儿东:“维维这个名字好熟啊……”刘箴:“是么?好像……”突见又来了一个男生,挨着紧紧坐到了维维的身边,才突然反应过来:“狗男女提过!!!”等他们吃完,出食堂分开,刘箴和胖儿东果断上前,一左一右的把人夹在了中间。杨诗屏吓了一跳:“你们要干啥?”刘箴多的废话也不说,直接:“原来维维是那个男的的女朋友啊!”“原来维维的男朋友就是那个男的啊!”胖儿东的废话文学。“你们知道个什么!!??不要乱说好不好?”杨诗屏不淡定。她不淡定胖刘就乐了:“我知道你很急,但你先不要急……”刘箴咬牙道:“知道什么?我们知道你这个烂人连学妹的男朋友都放过。”杨诗屏鼻子出气:“你要怎么样?”刘箴:“让你他妈的还跑去投诉我,要不要我让学妹知道知道她学姐的真面目?”“要不要我们把你的真面目让学妹知道知道!?”明明剑拔弩张的气愤,愣是让胖儿东整的有点欢脱而不失尴尬。“你有病吧?你知道什么呀就搅合?你不知道这里面是怎么回事!”杨诗屏语调都上来了,显然慌得一匹。她越慌,刘箴越爽:“我不用知道,我就把我知道的小小一点点去跟学妹投诉一下就完了。”“你别……!!”杨诗屏强行淡定:“你要我怎样,你先说!”·便此时,迎面怼过来两个男生,盯着刘箴道:“你缠着她要干什么?”“啊???我缠她?”刘箴不理解,但不能怂:“关你什么事啊?”那男生道也直接:“关我事啊,我和她关系好!我在追她!”显然是把刘箴当成情敌了,毕竟刘箴长得越帅,他危机感越强。

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