东窗事发（H）(2/2)

目前为止，对话的内容还勉强算在正常的范围里面。楚鸢却察觉到了不对，很不对劲，空气中说不出的违和感让她绷紧了神经。

“这是我应该做的。”

楚鸢的心一点点悬起来，她看到何之远眼中的渴望越发的明显。曾经只会哭着求饶的孩子现在略显疯狂的对她说：“妈妈，我也想帮您摆脱这个状态。”

“你怎么知道我今天见过何问心？”

“早就已经在日复一日的等待中失望了，心底里早就清楚不该继续爱她。然而对她的爱已经成了一种习惯，就算自己觉得已经不喜欢了，看到母亲头痛的时候还是会心疼对吗？我知道，因为我也是这样，我早就不想爱她了，但因为她是母亲，我一直不肯改口说恨她。太痛苦了，这种想要离开却离不开的感受，我太清楚了。”

“没错，妈妈，我告诉她了。”

“她不是一个好爱人，对吗？”

你什么也不要做。

“我爱您。”

楚鸢不知道何之远什么时候连这个都发现了，她突然的热情没有让人觉得感动，反而令人厌恶。在她眼里，何之远一向是感情中的承受着，她承受着来自别人的讨厌或喜欢，而她本人的意见并不重要。所以在何之远如此直接地表达占有欲后，楚鸢打从心底里觉得冒犯。

何之远是太过寂寞就会死掉的兔子，是随时害怕自己被抛弃的小狗，是可爱起来很会撒娇的猫咪。是无害的、可怜的、眼泪汪汪的。她不该是现在这个样子。

“我告诉了母亲我们的关系，猜猜看她会多么生气？”

和母亲见面的日子是不会来找我的。”何之远穿好内衣，披上衬衫，将扣子一颗颗系好。

“妈妈。”

“所以呢，”楚鸢移开了视线，“说这些干什么。”

“去见她的时候，您从来不用玫瑰的味道。”

何之远转过身来，眉毛一撇，又是那副很委屈的样子。

“你……！”楚鸢害怕了，她激动地抓住何之远的肩膀，“你！”

“她不喜欢您身上的香味。”

她穿好衣服，扎了一条腰带，将衬衣的下半截束在裤子里。接着往后一撩头发，刚刚被捆进衣服里的部分便柔顺地散落在身后。何之远穿好外套，将衬衣的袖子从领口拉出来，确保衣服上没有多余的褶皱。然后她回头说到：“你们在这方面的品味完全不一样，对吧？”

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楚鸢从被子中间抬起身来。

“对不起，我曾经也讨厌过那个味道，但我会改，她不会。”何之远说，“母亲不会为任何人改变。”

楚鸢想这样警告她，但何之远却在那之前笑了。

“但您是我母亲的爱人。”

这幅样子才让人觉得熟悉。

“虽然过程很痛，痛得快要死掉了，但结果是好的，因为可以真心去爱更值得爱的人了。”

“这么说有点好笑啦，显得我像狗一样。”何之远配合着她的话笑了两声，但表情没有任何的变化，“不过这是真的，我在您身上闻到了她的香水味。”

“您终于可以离开她了，虽然这很痛苦，但一切都是值得的，就像您对我做的那样。”

难道因为她已经习惯了何之远哭哭啼啼的窘态，乍然看到她穿着整齐的模样很不适应吗？何之远很平静的在和她闲聊，楚鸢却认为这是暴风雨前的寂静。她紧张起来：“你到底想说什么？”

乖乖听话就可以了，说这些做什么呢？明明一直乖乖的话，她就会去爱她。

“嗯？”

委屈的、迷恋的，何之远的眼睛中充满了让人心安的情绪，仿佛那一点点不对劲的地方全部来自于突如其来的飞醋。她跪在床上，挪动着膝盖，来到一个渴望靠近又不敢触碰的距离。

“妈妈，我爱您。”

“您也是想离开她的吧？我知道，我知道，没有人比我更明白……”何之远落泪了，像往常一样。

“但是呢……”何之远哭着笑了，“我现在已经摆脱这种心情了，多亏了妈妈。”

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