杀人回忆(2/2)

“我以为这就结束了，结果没有。”

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“于是他给了我一个更有力的巴掌，打在我脸上。”

“我朋友犹豫，不愿意。”

“最后我朋友还是选择轻轻地给了我一巴掌。”

“接着那女老师要我也给我朋友一巴掌，谁让我们上课讲话。”

“下课后，老师把我朋友单独叫到了办公室，他回来后，就不和我讲话了。”

“现在想来，也许我把那语文老师吓到了。因为应试教育下写作都是赞美和歌颂，就是在规训我们说假话。而我教育失败，我明明白白地写我真实的感受。”

“我是怎么把这老师毒死的细节现在我都可以跟你说。”

“那个班主任我现在还记得她的名字，她是我弄死的第一个人。她的死让我明白，这个世界我还是可以掌控一些事情的。”

“然而老师就给他施压，说如果不听她的话，这学期就评不上三好学生。”

“然而马儿的死让我提前早慧，我早早就学会了反抗。”

“我不愿意，那老师就说我要不听她的话她现在就打电话我妈把我领回家。”

“放学后，他也不理我了，跟着别人一块走路回家。我叫他他当没听到。”

“当时我有一个特别要好的朋友，他和我是一个班的。我们下课后经常玩一块。他成绩很好，老师不喜欢我和他玩在一起。”

bsp; “我成长的那个世界充满了暴力，空气里漂浮的贫穷的气味，大人们的焦虑随时都有可能发泄在手无缚鸡之力的孩子身上。每天晚上，我那个街区都能听到小孩被大人打的惨叫声。”

“有一次发试卷的时候，我语文39分，因为我的作文零分。”

“我把那天课堂上我和朋友的事情写了出来，全是我真实情感，我描写老师的嘴脸，描写我当时的心理活动。我毫不保留地把我的厌恶写下来了。”

“他是我童年里最重要的人，然而五年级时候，因为那语文老师作妖，我和他的关系结束了。”

“然而那老师不满意，说她没听到。”

“那女老师这才满意。我真的想不到，为什么她能那么恶毒。”

“我很怕我妈，所以我又给了我朋友一巴掌。”

“我是同性恋，我想有一部原因是我童年里，那些女老师对我照成了很大的阴影吧。”

“一次上课我用笔点他的背，跟他说下课后去哪里玩。”

“我动了杀心，是因为一件事，那是马儿死后两年后。马儿死的时候我才二年级，根本没那能力杀人而且还不用被发现。”

“那班主任看到了，她很生气我们两个上课讲话，而且我的朋友还和我玩在一块，因为当初她上课的时候就说我不配和我朋友玩在一起，会影响到他，我朋友以后可是要考大学的人。”

“我在五年级的时候，把我那带了我们那届三年的班主任毒死了。”

“她于是惩罚我们，她命令我朋友扇我一巴掌。”

“我还记得那作文是以‘难忘的一天’为题。”

“五年级的时候他刚好坐在我前面的位置，我很开心。”

“那个女的是真的该死，比学校其他的女老师都该死。那乡镇小学全是女老师，除了正副校长是男的，还有一个体育老师是男的，其他全是女的。”

“但我们就是玩在一起。我们是最亲密的伙伴，童年时代友谊是最重要的事情，有了朋友，周末就不会无聊，就算当时物质匮乏，但是一毛钱的辣条我们一人一半也吃得也津津有味。”

“我毒死的那乡村女教师，她的鞭子打过我们班上的每一个人，她是教语文的，不过我现在可以肯定，这人脑子半点墨水也没有。我小学成绩并不好，写得字也不好看，她死后大概也想不到，她经常点名批评写的字歪歪扭扭如鬼画符的我，后来得到了市里书法比赛的一等奖。”

“在家里，在学校，我们都是任大人宰割的羔羊。”

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