75、番外 清穿玛丽苏 上(2/2)

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式720°旋转舔猫jpg】“这可不行。”季大师想也不想就拒绝,“季小白是私人猫,不能舔。”【嘤嘤嘤人家家知道了小白是你的季大师qaq】【……好想把这个嘤嘤怪叉出去(ノ`Д)ノ】“废话不多说,我们直接进入正题。”季戎白将手里的主神蛋摇了摇,“目前还没发现什么特别的世界,一个个去看太浪费时间,所以我们直接用主神随机一个位面出来,作为这一次的直播位面。”【所以季大师你是在摇彩蛋吗?哭笑不得jpg】“这只是颗白蛋,彩蛋的话,还需要涂些颜色吧?”季戎白端详了一番手里的主神蛋,似乎正在考虑该如何给它上色,吓得主神蛋颤颤巍巍抖个不停,仿佛帕金森病蛋一样。欣赏够了帕金森蛋的苦逼动作,季大师才慢悠悠的继续说道:“还是算了吧,太过花哨会让新位面的人民怀疑我的审美。”

主神蛋:……你这个恶劣的坟蛋!!可怜的主神蛋一边要气炸,一边还得苦逼兮兮的随机位面,堪称男默女泪的一代劳模典范(……)。主神蛋的业务能力还是很不错的,不过几秒钟时间,就从新搜索到的位面中随机到了一个有智慧生命的世界。新位面的智慧生命还不是那些乱七八糟的八爪鱼小怪兽之类的,而是人。“主神已经完成了它的工作,现在让我们来看看这是个什么世界……”季大师一边说着,一边打开主神光屏,直播镜头对准了光屏上的图文资料,待他看到世界信息的时候,突然顿住了。“主神,你是在和我开玩笑?”听到季大师的话,观看直播的各位面网友赶紧将目光放在了直播界面右下角主神提供的位面信息阅读,然后弹幕就变成了清一色的——【穿清不造反,菊花被人轮!】【穿清不造反,菊花万人捅!】【穿清不造反,菊花遭电钻!】【穿清不造反,菊花……】清一色的菊花格式,让人一眼望去就菊花一紧。“……你们还和菊花干上了?”季大师也挺无语,主神随机到的位面是一个清穿玛丽苏世界,该世界堪称集玛丽苏情节于大成者,一看就是对待正常人不怎么友好的位面。这个位面的命运线是这样的——女主纳兰苏儿原本是一个类似于蓝星几十年前的现代社会的普通高中生,和许多穿越前辈一样,在高考前夕被车撞穿越了,还是身穿。一个大活人凭空消失不见,也不知道车主和目击者们的心理阴影面积有多大。纳兰苏儿穿越到了清国,这个位面的清国配置和地球的清朝差不多,都是猪尾辫子鼠尾辫子之类的,光看前脸还以为穿到了光头俱乐部。但是吧,女主不愧是女主,她愣是从这一颗颗大半光头的男性中看到了无数英俊美男子!丝毫不在意他们几乎要比她自己都矮的个头。女主刚穿过去刚好从天而降,砸到当时微服出巡的康熙身上。虽然康熙脸上坑洼了一点、年龄大了一些,但在女主看来,是非常有男性魅力的!原本应该喊抓刺客的康熙,这时候一和纳兰苏儿眼神对上,也脑子一抽,一口咬定:“天降神女!”就连女主身上穿着的高中生宽大肥校服也变成了仙界神女的标志了呢,之后可是风靡了清国好长一段时间。之后的命运发展就是女主又遇到了康熙生的数字军团们,在各种数字之间犹豫辗转,并与数字们的大小老婆们斗来斗去,中间再插空用各种现代的常识知识令古人眼前一亮,没事说几句这个时代以后的诗词、“发明”一些新事物,瞬间就被清国人捧上了神坛,成为了清国第一才女。就这样苏苏麻麻加一些诸如中毒啊怀孕啊流产啊被陷害等等之类的狗血,女主的命运堪称穿越玛丽苏界的一座高山。至于最后谁是男主……e……主神光屏上明明白白写着“所有数字们为了不让女主伤心,最后决定共同拥有这个为了他们而降临凡尘的神女”。看完之后的季大师:“……”看完之后的各位面人民:“……”在被震惊过后,很多人产生了一个疑问——“主神,女主最后登基为帝了吗?这些都是她的后宫?”“并没有。”主神蛋回答,“最后登基的还是胤禛,只不过女主和她的其他后宫可以在皇宫里集体居住。”季大师:“……”各位面人民:“……”良久,弹幕才出来一条——【真是……大开眼界jpg】季大师对这个奇葩位面该如何去直播这件事,陷入了深深的思考中。这其中有一个绝对关键的地方——如果要正常行走在这个位面,常规操作是他们打扮一致,但这个一致的方面到了剃光头留个鼠尾巴的情况就……——特别是季大师对于自己的发型还很满意,果断不能剃了啊!【季大师,反了吧!】【头可断,血可流,发型不能乱!所以必须得反!】【季大师你要不要试试亲身上阵开创新帝国?仔细想想貌似很带感哦!】“不,我动手的话,分分钟毁灭世界不要太简单。”季戎白摇摇头,“那样多没意思?”“所以啊,我们把开创新帝国这件事交给位面原住民不是更有意思?”他掂了掂手里的主神蛋,“看,金手指都准备好了,只等选择一个新主角。”季大师觉得吧,剃头是不可能的,那就辛苦点制定新规则吧。但是自己动手太掉价,不如随随便便选一个位面原住民,给他一个金手指,让他干翻清国,换一个发型随意的朝代不就完美解决了嘛!——既然是主神自己随机到的世界,那就把主神蛋扔下去当金手指好了。各位面围观群众们想了想,觉得确实是这么个理。季大师那么强大,要让他把自己压制到和位面土著一样的程度,再慢慢磨,实在强人所难;而如果给一个原住民金手指,让他和玛丽苏女主及其后宫团们对抗,倒是颇有一种看反苏同人剧的感觉。唔,是挺有意思的哦?不过……【主神去当金手指了,那季大师你干嘛?难道转行成不在原住民面前出现的荒野主播?】“不,”季戎白意味深长一笑,“以后请叫我随身老爷爷,谢谢。”作者有话要说:老爷爷总是要有的,再来个三月之约,嗯

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