61、淡看生死见悲欢(01)(2/3)

像是有着永远也流不尽的趋势。

眉间紧紧皱着,闷了一身的汗。

“…也有超过十几二十年的,只是比较少。”

季临渊说了,不但说了,还详详细细给她介绍了这种病情的症状发展和最后结果。

“…它比癌症还要残忍的多,因为直到死去,人的意识都会无比的清晰…”

沈深知在她心里是不同的,他一直都知道。

慕言蹊想应一声,可努力了半天,再发不出来半个音。

慕言蹊攀着季临渊的颈,像是一个要溺毙在汪洋大海里的人儿,而他是唯一浮萍。

可又好像什么都听不清楚,耳朵里有老旧收音机收不到讯号时的刺啦声,震耳欲聋。

因为工作,这是沈深知想要慕言蹊知道的原因,可季临渊心里明白,他怕三个人同框,会露出什么不该露出的情绪,让她有所察觉。

……

,他要探病的人又不是她认识的人,那跟沈深知相关联的,除了他探病之人的病情,她暂且想不到其他。

“…虽然可以通过治疗尽力延长寿命,但这种病无法根治,而且发病迅速又无情,平均寿命只有2-5年。”

季临渊庆幸云婉如此的“体贴”,正好给了慕言蹊缓冲的时间。

只是,这些信息已经足够让她心乱如麻,他一定病的很严重,不然,大家又为何费了心思的想要瞒着她。

似梦似醒,听见季临渊接电话的声音,然后有声音靠在她耳边告诉她,沈深知起早回了南城,因为工作。

她从嗓子口艰难的磨出来三个字,想让他安心。

他一直想要告诉她这些,是怕将来某一天谁那里出了差错,让她毫无准备的知道这一切,他怕,怕她受不了打击,做傻事。

而她刚刚说的那些话,不全然都是在为套他的话做铺垫,也是她心里真实的想法。

……

慕言蹊不知道此时的自己在做什么,她以为她会哭,可好像没有,她甚至都没听见自己的哭声。

只是刚挂了电话,他的庆幸,也不止这一件事了…

季临渊找了医生过来,给她挂上退烧的点滴,耐心擦着她身

“想睡觉。”

这次慕言蹊在东城办画展,没人在身边陪着,她便想着趁着这时间过来,一边当陪她,一边忙些自己的事。

季临渊想着这样也好,她现在这个样子也确实没有办法和他见面。

季临渊搂着浑身颤抖的她,又何止是心疼。

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只是有些呼吸不过来,喉咙压着一股气,进不去,出不来。

她对沈深知怀有亏欠,这辈子,都不可能抛下的那种亏欠。

应该是沈深知跟她说了他回来的事,云婉随后也给他来了电话,说自己到东城先忙一下别的,等明天画展的时候再过来陪她。

慕言蹊在听,季临渊的每一个字,她都听的清清楚楚。

送医生离开,季临渊按着医生的叮嘱,湿了温毛巾,给慕言蹊擦着手脚胳膊物理降温。

……

刚刚睡着没多久,她就开始发烧,浑身滚烫滚烫。

“睡吧,”季临渊用指腹抹掉她脸上的泪,耐心细致的,一遍又一遍,“我一直都在这。”

可喉咙发干,像是被炭火烤着一样。

窗帘缝隙处,渐渐有了光,季临渊下巴抵在她头顶,盯着那光线看,时间久了,眼里酸涩着,不知是为沈深知,还是为了在他怀里紧揪着他睡袍衣领悄无声息掉着泪的她。

云婉娘家是在东城,虽父母去世之后也没什么亲人在,但偶尔还是会回来小住几天,顾顾置衣店。

“…沈深知不想让你知道,是因为他不想让你看着他一点点没了呼吸的样子。”

季临渊用力抱着她,甚至勒的她有些疼,她想告诉他她没事,人都有走到尽头的那一天,只是早早晚晚的差别,她知道。

季临渊哪能不明白,她这是给两人独处的机会。

慕言蹊脑袋昏昏沉沉,睁不开眼,也不想睁眼,觉得浑身乏力想睡觉,可眼泪不停的往外流。

……

脑袋里清晰的记忆,就停在了这一瞬,下一秒,她已经昏沉的睡了过去。

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